Dear Love, I was apprehensive taking the trip we were supposed to take together. But it was better than I expected. It's great being single again. I finally understand why we can't be together and I thank you for giving me that. When I went on the trip, I thought maybe I'd be thinking about you all the time and how the trip would be better if you were there with me. Truth is, it was almost perfect without you there. The combination of work, old and new friends, booze, partying, and stress gave me a new perspective. It would have probably been a fun trip with you but I would have probably been too guarded, too worried about you that I wouldn't be able to work and party as hard as I did. I finally see what some of my friends told me, that I wasn't me when I was with you. It's both good and bad. Good because I became a better person when I was with you. And bad because somehow I made us the center of my life. You might not believe it, but I was trying very hard to make us work and I suffered…
Tag: break-up
Day 50
...and I'm still counting. I just finished watching "The Love Affair," and I am now in the middle of "First Love (A Crazy Thing Called Love)." These films are two of my most favorite romance films. I have been watching a lot of those lately because for 50 days, I have been trying to do everything there is to do to try to get over a break up. I have tried staying in for two days. I have tried going out and staying up late. I have tried watching cheesy Tagalog films. I have tried binge-ing and I have tried dieting. I have cried myself to sleep. I have tried drowning myself in work. I have posted emo messages and status updates. I have become addicted to Facebook games which I was so against before. Yes, I have tried almost everything there is to do when one is depressed or heartbroken. Kulang na lang mag-droga ako. Last weekend, we saw each other and it was then that I realized he was right. That we are not for each other. That while there is nothing fundamentally wrong with each one of us, it could have never worked out. I could have…
One More Chance
Needless to say, Madam Ria is feeling emo today. And I want to celebrate the emo-ness with some scenes, lines, and analysis of Star Cinema's epic 2007 movie, One More Chance featuring John Lloyd Cruz and Bea Alonzo. Contrary to what industry insiders might think, it was not just the magic of the Bea and John Lloyd tandem that brought in the crowds. It might have been what brought the crowd during the first two weeks of the film's cinema run, but it was the film's story and lines that made the viewers cry, come back to cry some more, quote the movie, and revere it solemnly. video courtesy of hankin16. Rights belong to Star Cinema. No copyright infringement intended. Scene 1 Popoy (John Lloyd) and Basha (Bea) see each other after a while after their break up. Popoy already has a new girlfriend, Tricia (Maja Salvador). Basha: Sana kaya ko lang tiisin ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. Kasi ako naman humiling nito diba? Ako yung may gusto. Sana kaya ko rin sabihin na masaya ako para sayo, para sa inyo. Sana kaya ko. Sana kaya ko. Pero hindi eh. Ang sama-sama kong tao. Kasi ang totoo umaasa pa rin…
Losing Love and Losing Confidence
"I did not know back then that all the promises he had made me how empty they were. If there had been no promises, would it have been easier for me right now? Even though I know how baseless his talk is, I hate myself for wanting to believe them... I hate myself for still wavering at the meaningless glances... for dwelling upon it like this. Losing love may just mean losing one’s self-confidence." - Kim Sam Soon, My Name is Kim Sam Soon Episode 3 That is a line from one of my favorite TV Series, My Name is Kim Sam Soon. After breaking up with her boyfriend for several years, Sam Soon feels like her life is on a limbo. And I can totally relate. The break up didn't just cause heartaches for Sam Soon, but also doubt and uncertainty. She suddenly felt lost and insecure, unsure of what the future will be, whether she will love again and get married, if she will be able to move on and trust again. We have all felt that. It takes a mighty lot of self-confidence to have never felt that kind of loss. When one breaks up, a person…
The Rejz Ria Forever Fans Club
Had a meeting with my team yesterday lunch and chismoso concerned boys that they are they pried why I had puffy and dark eyebags and extra chinita eyes. So they were one of the first ones to know what happened. Last night, the team had a game and wonder of wonders... the ex was online and wanted to be a game observer. My team, again being "concerned" and all, chatted with him and teased him mercilessly. We now even have a "Rejz Ria Forever Fans Club" (RRFFC) founded by SubangKyut and Sarte. LOL! The ex was really a good sport. We actually have a better relationship now, very friendly. Weird! And we're actually ok. Not in a showbiz "we are civil towards each other" way. It's like he's now one of my best friends. ;) I guess we'll never be the same, and we can never have the same relationship. We did come out of it hurt but not bitter and angry. For somebody who has never had a break-up before... that's quite an achievement, I think. If you are interested in joining the RRFFC, comment below with your name, mailing address, suking tindahan, and proof of purchase. :P
I Have Learned…
How to love... unconditionally... To be honest... To be patient... To be selfless... To be true to myself... To be grateful... To take risks... To feel... To care deeply... To open up... To give... To receive... To hope, but not expect... To ask, but not demand... That there are no guarantees... That everything, every little thing, matters... That perfection is unattainable... In this imperfect world, we can only hope to find the person whose imperfections we can accept and love, and who, in return, can also accept and love our imperfections.