I feel overwhelmed. Some things are going waaay too fast. While some are just not going nowhere at all. I feel stuck. I'm confused. I don't know what to do, what to say. I wish I was back to that time when all that existed in my world was work. Work is not complicated. It has structure. Most of the time it's predictable. Life, on the other hand, and the people we meet along that way, it's hard to deal with. Even the happy moments, things you want to happen can overwhelm you, can make you feel lost. Too many things happening at the same time. The things I want to happen, meanwhile, do not happen at all. Expectations. I should live with less of it. I am in front of the computer now, not because I want to. Not because I enjoy it. But because I dread going home, being alone, awake, thinking about things. Things that are, things that were, things that should be. Should have, would have, could have. I exhaust myself so that when I get home, alone... there's no energy left to do anything else but sleep. I don't want to cry again. It's exhausting.…
Tag: reflection
I Had the Urge to Blog
But I don't know why or what about. So just let me rant. I came from a wedding. I wore this errr... nice (but apparently sexy) dress. I was the host of the reception and after I said "Good evening! I'm Ria, and I'm your host for this evening," random guy shouted "HI MISS RIA, ANG GANDA MO!" (HI MISS RIA, YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL!) Ohhhkay... Now I'm at the shop (the internet shop). I'm so tired, sleepy, and kinda stressed out but I don't want to go home yet. I miss being online for the sake of. I miss just Plurking, browsing through Multiply, Plurking, chatting over IM, Plurking, blog hopping, Plurking... I think I Plurk too much, right? Which reminds me, Plurk has been the avenue through which I become kilig lately. Well, nothing interesting is happening in my life (in the romance department) but there are too many Plurkers in love, falling in love, loving, wanting to be loved, etc. And it gives me sooo much kilig to read their Plurks. Sarap kiligin. :P And yeah, I'm still single. Not searching (OWS?!) actively, but I would like to. The part where I'm not searching actively is mostly because…
My Choice
There comes a time in your life when someone or something gives you hope, makes you believe in things and possibilities. But things don't always work out the way you want them to, not even when you work hard for it, not even when circumstances change favorably, because people are people. People change. Sometimes when success is within reach, people get selfish, priorities changes, loyalties don't matter, hard work does not count. Just when you think everything is starting to fall into its right place, and your hard work is starting to pay off, the very core, the foundation on which you stand on starts to crumble. And you are left with two choices, forget your ideals and loyalties, forget the past and move on with what will lead you to succeed even if you hurt people along the way, or get left behind. I chose to get left behind because these are the things I value: loyalty, hard work, honesty, and respect. I am not to say I chose the right thing, but although it's painful not to enjoy the fruits of my hard work, I am at peace with my choice. It's frustrating, disappointing to believe in something,…
I Just Want to be Happy
I was never a big fan of Sex and the City, (I'd rather not elaborate. :P) but I did watch the TV show, and of course I had to watch the movie. The movie was funny and better than expected. But the editing was... weird! I suspect they censored it a bit to get a R-13 rating. But this post is not really about the movie... While watching the movie, I realized, I don't need anything. I just want to be happy. I don't need a man, a husband, children, success, fame, and wealth... I just want to be happy. I smile a lot, laugh (boisterously) a lot, but I don't think I've ever been truly happy. I'm a big mess and my life is an even bigger one. Sure there have been times when I felt elated, happy at a thought, at a nice compliment, excited by an event or situation. Lately, I've been having more success, recognition, and reasons to smile than I ever expected. But when I go home, I am lonely, a part of me is missing. I rarely cry nowadays. My life has been worse and I think I have been through the worst I…
The Problem with Arrogance
"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing." - Socrates There are people who argue for the sake of arguing. They discuss things only so they could assert their "intelligence," "knowledge," "wisdom," "superiority," or whatever it is they want people to know about. Fighting and standing up for the truth is one thing, asserting your own opinion and disrespecting and insulting people in the process is another. I consider myself to be a person of substance, willing to stand up for what is true, just, and fair. But I never argue for the sake of arguing. I join in discussions for the sake of letting people know what I know and what I think, but never to rub on other people's faces that I am smarter, better, or more enlightened. There are truths in this life, in this world that are non-debatable and non-changing. No matter how skewed our perception of it is, it does not and will not change. Then, there are opinions, beliefs, things that differ from one person to another. Yes, there are false or, I dare say, false beliefs and wrong opinions. But how am I to say which is false and wrong when…