Here I am, Saturday night with plenty of things to do and places I can go to. But I am working. This is how life has been. Lazy weekdays, hectic weekends. To make matters worse, I had a fever last night. It was a terrible one. Spent the entire night alternately trying to sleep and going to the loo to pee. It wasn't a cold night but I was having chills. I thought I was gonna be well enough this morning to attend class. But alas! I didn't have the energy to stand up and go to class. Hours later, I received a message that I had missed a class with the Chef Gene Gonzales. /wrist Around 2 pm, I woke up again. And decided I will go insane just staying inside the house. So here I am working my butt off even if I am coughing like crazy and making people think I will infect them with AH1N1. This has been my life. Weekdays are spent doing chores and work tasks, blogging, and generally doing online stuff. The past week, I have taken time out from my work and poker routine to spend time with my cousins and I…
The Pain of Breaking Up
It's inevitable. Every break up is painful. No matter how many bad fights you've had, no matter how long a time you've been actually been waiting for it to happen, it still stings. I think most of the time, it's not the being left alone, being left behind that hurts. It's the doubts, the unanswered questions, the asking when the lies must have started, when did the love fade, when did it start slipping away, and the loss of the confidence that cause greater pain. It's the unanswered question of "what the f*ck went wrong when I thought everything was going well" that makes us cry. Nobody (in his right mind) enters a relationship with the foresight or the expectation that it will crumble or end somehow. One enters a relationship with the expectation, the idea that it will be develop into a deeper one, it will last long, somehow. So when it happens, when what you fear finally arrives, when it ends, you start questioning yourself, the other person, the relationship, and everything that happened. Was the love even real? Were the happy moments really happy? You question yourself. You ask if there's anything wrong with yourself, could you…
The Search for More Pangga
Because we most definitely want more, more, more pangga... Video by maryrose23g with the blurb... Napagtripan kong gawan ng drama ang mga kasambahay namin. ayun! may konting error pero ok lang.. try namin iremake. YUN NAMAN! BEST! BIDYO! EVAH! Join the Give Us More Pangga! Movement by re-posting this bidyo made of win. Kudos to Coksiblue for discovering this gem. :)
Television is Dead
Take time to party and celebrate the death of TV as the first and only Online Filipino Video Channel officially launches. Flippish is launching it's bundle of LOLs, information, and emo-ness as they throw a bash to tell the world that TV is dead and Flippish is it! Join the fun and meet your favorite Flippish celebs such as Kring and Chrina on July 2, 8 pm at Fiamma. Register here to be included in the guest list. ;-)
Light the Beacons
Say No to Con Ass! Light the beacons of hope in your hometown, in your blog, wherever you can.
Loneliness
These past few weeks have been good ones, but somehow, my smiles are forced and fake. I can't sleep well, and I avoid being alone. Kuya Andrew has noted that even if I do look better, my smiles aren't the same. I thought it must be caused by the heartbreak. I would like so much to blame the loneliness, sadness on him, but that would be unfair. Despite the relative success I've had, and all the wonderful things happening to me and around me, I realize I'm still that broken little girl. I am that girl still waiting to be told that I am worthy, I am wanted, I am loved. No matter how many of my dreams come true I will still need that pat in the back, somebody's approval. Even if I have accepted, let go, and moved on, a part of me will never heal. I feel it now, more than ever. The pain, the sadness, the loneliness. As I slowly achieve my goals, reach the things I have aimed for, I still need to be assured, told over and over again, that I make people happy. I need to find it in myself, within me, my…