Disconnected

Did you ever feel like life is happening around you but you are not a part of it? That’s what I feel right now.

I feel a sort of disconnection with the world, like things are happening around me and I’m too caught up with the different things I am busy with to be part of the bigger picture. It’s like there’s that great big world out there… and I’m not part of it.

I have the life I’m living and all the work I’m doing. I am actually quite happy with my life right now. But it feels like something is missing. It’s like I do not belong to the world where other people are, like I have this tiny space, all to myself… a bubble where all that exists is me and my life and nobody can really fully understand who I am, what I feel, what I am doing.

I also feel like a fish in an aquarium. Isolated, not with others but seen by others. I’m not a celebrity, but my blogs sometimes act like that glass wall that separates me from the outside world. It separates me, and at the same time, it broadcasts and shares my life with others.

Could it be that while I am usually with other people, busy, doing things, I am, in fact… alone?

It’s a weird feeling, a weird realization. Then again, might be just because it’s that time of the month. Bah!

3 thoughts on “Disconnected

  1. Yes Ria, it’s not a strange feeling that you have.. I think it’s just a product of having shared more than enough, and yet, expect that what you do for others are reciprocated in the same way, if not in the same manner altogether!

    But if you begin to consider that there’s a realization in what you do, it might turn out quite differently. I mean you’re doing great in your blogs and in the other things that you do. Don’t you realize that there’s a kind of self-actualization in what you had been doing, even if it’s some kind of a one-way traffic thing, because you had been doing what you love to do?

    So many people are dying to do what they love to do but they just don’t have the chance or the opportunity. They are not at liberty to do what they want, while you are a lot better!

    Being disconnected is a feeling of being detached. True! But if you think that there’s a lot more in having expressed yourself the way you wanted it – like if you had been doing what you love to do with more freedom, then there’s so much sense of fulfillment in it, ergo, there’s also so much attachment because in anything that we do the hidden recipcoral is the sense of fulfillmne that we get out of it.

    Ria, cheer up. You’re such a few of a kind lady. You’re very talented, very fulfilled and enviable!

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