Not a lot of people are aware of it, but I’ve been through some tough times these past few months. Once again, my faith in people was tested. On most nights in January and February, I was crying. The only times I wouldn’t cry was if I was out of town.
I have never aspired for awards or recognition. For the most part, I did my job earnestly because I loved the challenge of it and because I loved the people I was with. I was fiercely loyal and at times, clouded by my need to please my peers.
But alas, my hard work and loyalty didn’t count for much. As much as I would like to blame gossip, idle talk, politics, or whatever there is to blame, I was never able to make full sense of what happened. I felt lonely, betrayed, and useless. All my hard work for more than two years went unappreciated and counted for nothing. The people I fought so hard for, didn’t value me as much as I valued them. Worse of all, my friends who didn’t do anything wrong except be my friend became targets of other people’s ire and paranoia.
I thought I had people who were with me to fight the battle, but they had abandoned me and started a war against me. I do not know why or how but it happened and I had nothing left to fight for.
I was about ready to give up but many people, countless people gave me encouragement. Even then, I was not convinced that I should stay. In just two years, I have been maligned so many times, called many names, abandoned and disregarded, blamed for failures of other people, and hated on. It was not worth it, I thought.
I focused on other things at hand, on other matters that had to be worked on, on friends who gave me strength and the mindset to move on and get over the pain.
It’s true that we find true friends in the unlikeliest times and through the most difficult situations. I am grateful that I have found such true friends. Friends and relatives who gave me many reasons to smile and laugh. Who shared with me a new way of thinking. Who reminded me that I am so much more than what some people say and think of me.
Through all the pain, sadness, and anger, I have learned several things.
My loyalty and hard work may not mean anything to some people, but it will always count for something.
My work and my skills will always be needed and appreciated. Maybe not by the people I worked hard for but by those who are looking from afar.
Never judge people based on what others say about them.
There will always be people ready to support me and help me through life’s challenges. We can find true friends at the unlikeliest places and through the weirdest moments.
When people let you down, doubt you, or go out of their way to hurt you, smile and just move forward.
And now, finally, I am ready. The passion has returned and I am, once more, excited for the challenges that lie ahead.
I might not be bulletproof, I feel pain and anger. Sometimes it takes me quite a while to stand up and move forward… but I have been through the fire more than once, and I have always come out better and stronger. Not because I am that good, but because there are countless people, friends, relatives, and even strangers, who remind me that I can always do better, that I can always be better.
And for that, I am thankful and will be forever grateful to my friends and relatives who were there for me these past few months.
Live. Love. Learn.