Dear Love

Dear Love, It's been a while. Suddenly, it is August... and before we know it, the ber season is here. And 2021 will come to a close. It's like I blinked to rest and the year went by, without much really happening to me. But really, a lot has happened since. I would like to say I am much better. Truth is, I do not know. But this I am certain, I have come to know, learn, and realize a lot these past few months. Whether by mistake or mere happenstance, I have come to understand more about myself. Not intentionally. Definitely not deliberately. But I welcomed it. Like a flood, memories came rushing back. Along with it, more tears than I had expected. Countless nights spent thinking. Mulling, And yes, crying myself to sleep. I am not ok. But this time, not because of the usual reasons. One day, I will be brave enough to tell those stories. Share those memories. Meantime, I will spend more time thinking, asking, and seeking answers. Not because I need closure, but because I need to do better. Be better. I am not ok. My heart is not ok. My mind is clouded.…