Dear Love,

It has been a long time. I have been meaning to write for weeks now but I always forgot to do so. Not because I have no reason to share but, well, because I have been too preoccupied. And I have also started journaling.

My entries are mostly short and not as profound as I would like them to be. I often write about an hour before I sleep. So I am usually sleepy or tired. I am still undecided about how I should proceed with journaling. Should I just do as I do now and write about whatever my thoughts are at the end of the day? Or should I try to be more creative? I do want to try to do creativity exercises but I am still unsure about that.

My days have been long and productive since January 1. But the past week has been hard. Nothing bad happened. Nothing big really. I was just exhausted. Physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I did not plan to rest or take a break but I slept late on Monday because of F1 and was happy to see that I had coincidentally scheduled Tuesday as rest day. And I decided that I would spend the rest of the week just doing whatever. I still did my morning meditations, but I occasionally skipped workout time. And when I woke up too late in the day, I skipped my beloved coffee time, as well. It really gave me a breather and a chance to enjoy things.

I still did some work and accomplished important tasks. But I barely logged in my required number of hours. I felt a bit of guilt, but my desire to take it easy won me over.

Just yesterday, a few hours ago, I did my guided meditation and it taught me to practice self-affection. Coincidence, maybe? But it was definitely helpful in making me appreciate how well I spent my past week. I feel less guilty. Soon, I wish to share with you more about the things I have been learning through meditation.

I recognize and accept that I am lucky and privileged to be spending an entire week not really working and not worry about it. I wish everybody had the same opportunity because everybody needs it.

Now, a new week is here and I have already started grinding past midnight. And it feels good. Somehow, “wasting” my time and resting the past week has given me new energy and content to work on.

I thank myself and all my privileges that I am able to do what I love and work as I please. I am now thinking if maybe I should reserve a week a month for rest and play. Yes? I think it would benefit me. We’ll see.

Much as I was satisfied and happy at how productive I was in January and the first half of February, it left me feeling tired and spent. Plus, the daily workouts and morning routine really took its toll on me. As I have mentioned, there were days when I dreaded going to sleep and woke up groaning. Now, I am actually excited to do my routine later.

Thing is, I have to really work earnestly on the three weeks I am supposed to work for me to earn and enjoy my rest week. So there is a payoff but I think it will work out well for me.

Wow! I shared too much about nothing much except my thoughts and minor struggles.

I miss this. Writing to you… and talking as if there is somebody there listening with their whole heart. And doing this has made me feel happy and relieved. I should do this more often. For me.

Take care, love. There will be more to share and talk about soon.

❤️
02/22/21